Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Mother's Curse

We all have said it at least once. "I don't want to be like my mom or dad" or whoever raised you and got on your last nerve! My Mother was the primary parent in my life. Dad and mom were married but, separated a lot when I was younger and when they finally divorced, I lived with my mom.

When I was younger, dad would wake up very early and start whistling, making coffee, being generally chipper. Mom would wake up later, grouchy, silent, and angry if anyone tried to even whisper to her for the first hour. Dad would comment on how he and I were generally chipper and lovely in the morning and not at all like my mom and my little sister.

Fast forward to today. I'm 33, a wife, mother to one, step-mom to another. I like my sleep. Scratch that, I LOVE my sleep. I'm one of those people that needs at LEAST 7 hours of sleep to feel functional through the day. And don't even try and wake me up because I will murder you, in my sleep. Hubby can attest to that last statement.

He's a snuggler, but that's another post. He stays up later than I because he is on a night shift. Conversations usually end up like this

Him: tiptoes through the room, turns on the closet light, starts taking off contacts
Me: "ungghhh"
Him: continues getting ready for bed
Me: *SIGH* "why do you always have to wake me UP?" loud tone
Him: "you're too light of a sleeper"
Me: goes to the bathroom, swaying like a drunkard *pees*
Him: tries to get up on me and snuggle
Me: *SWAT* "leave me alone!!"

And so it goes on, almost nightly, unless I don't wake up which is rare. My daughter is the only one that can get away with waking me up. I guess it's a mommy thing because, I know she needs me. That doesn't change the fact that I'm a grouch first thing in the morning, and would love to have some caffeine pumping through me before I have to do all the things mommies do.

It amazes me that I'm like this now. Although, I'm not sure why? My mom was, and is, a mean woman when she first wakes up. She needs a cup of coffee and a cig at least, to function! ha ha. Why couldn't I have stayed the chipper girl? One never can tell where the line is. That line where your parent ends and you begin. It's part of us, no matter if we hate it or not. My mother calls it "the mother's curse". You become like your mom and/or your child inflicts on you, what you've inflicted on her.

Guess I'll have to start figuring out what "mother's curse" I'm gonna pass on to my girl...