Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I want off this rollercoaster....NOW

I know, I know the adage is "money makes the world go around". I'm so sick of worrying about money, worrying about debt, worrying about how I'm gonna pay bills, et al! I have never had money, I mean NEVER! My parents scraped by when I was little and then when they divorced we REALLY scraped by. I can remember a few times going without creature comforts like heat in the winter, etc. My parents never made a lot of money and were very working class. They didn't have a good business sense, or investment mindset. My Mother could make a dollar stretch and taught me properly but, she didn't know how to make her money bigger. My mama is an artist and had a cleaning business for awhile but, no business sense.

Fast forward to today where whatever I know has been self taught since I have no formal education after high school. I have learned a ton in the last year alone and yet, I feel I haven't even broken the ice. I'm frugal when I need to be but, my husband does a great job of spending what is left.(he is another story) I still don't really know how to invest and I get so confused and caught up in a few specifics about business that I'm not 100% sure what's gonna take off! Maybe I should take a business degree online so I can learn all about starting my own business. I know some people can sniff out a good opportunity and me, well I'm green to say the least.

The other side to this is the fact that I can't buy a house because I'm trying to pay off debt and am not making enough money. I'm trying to start some sort of business on a shoestring budget to make my financial situation better in the long run and so the cycle goes, around and around.

I just want off...I'm so weary of wondering where my next paycheck is going to take me. If we are going to be able to have any money left over or be in the hole. After putting up with it as a child and now into adult hood....well, yeah I'm just overwhelmed. Not to mention the fact that the very last thing on earth almost that I want to do is a budget(which I dont even do in my house) because I'm not a numbers gal if you catch my drift. Math was my worst subject and to this day, hate it. I took accounting in high school and didn't really do well in it at all. I'm just venting because I get discouraged. Gotta just pick myself up and dust myself off.


Heather said...

Sorry Mel :(
I know how ya feel...we work so hard here to just watch everyone we know "inherit" or be "given" a home or land to start off on and we just are stuck in the same place...scrapping to make ends meet every month.
Somehow, it seems to me, that it would be so much nicer and cozier to have to scrape pennies every month and be working toward a goal insteading of renting. Its like throwing your money away every month.

We both just need to win the lottery. Then we can buy vacation homes next to each other :D

Karen of Sillymonkeez said...

I can totally relate. Money is always a huge stress around here. The one time it started not to be, my husband got laid off from his job. We have yet to recover and this was 2-1/2 years ago. We live paycheck to paycheck and I juggle the bills so much that I think I should just join the circus. I wonder how much they pay?

Kitty said...

I hear ya Mel! This started a few years ago when I lost my job and now with raising kids and considering their welfare-it just all gets overwhelming sometimes and feels like it is never gonna get any better.I mean my mom says keep your chin up-but it is hard sometimes-a lot of times actually.Just know your not alone.I've met a few people here who are years and years younger than me and they own mansions it seems and it seems like it'll nevr happen for us.