Friday, November 30, 2007

Heartbreak and the Bittersweet!



















My daughter was born December 26th 2006. She is and will always be one of the great loves of my life...She was given to me after a lot of time and heartbreak. All I've ever truly wanted to be was a Mother. All I ever had was an almost insatiable desire to be part of a family. Don't get me wrong, I have a family. My parents were married for part of my growing up and I have a brother and sister that I love and am still in touch with. My family was just like many now. It was broken and more importantly, my parents were. The two people in charge of 3 new lives.

None of that is amazing or even sad to hear for most people because it's so common. For me, it was what shaped me to be the woman I am today. Good and bad alike. It's what makes me the wife I am and now the mommy I am. I can't say there are many things I would change because of that irony which is wisdom.


My daughter is nearing her 1st Birthday and while I am ecstatic that she is healthy and so incredibly mobile, I'm also seeing the bittersweet that is parenthood. You cheer for your child as they hit their milestones and swell with pride. Inside you cry tears of helplessness because you want them to be your little baby forever. I want her to be independent like the signs she is showing me, I want her to be a leader and not a follower, I want her to be an individual! I will continue to support her in that. I will hold her in my arms when she is tired or sick and smell her delicious head and remember that she will always be my baby...

4 comments:

J said...

Bittersweet is the perfect word to describe it. Kaia is such a doll, incase no one had told you. ;)

Heather said...

You really have a knack with writing Mel. I envy it. I have been trying to hold onto every little bit of Sam and his babyness for as long as I can cause I know I will never go through it again. It is hard to watch them grow and gain independence but we all know that is the goal.

Melanie said...

thanks girls and thank you Heather...I've been writing since I was very young.

Kitty said...

...and she will always be your baby....forever...even when she is grown and has her own children she will always be your baby....She's so adorbale I can't help but smile so wide when I see her.The excitement in her eyes reminds that 'that's what life is all about'...