Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Do You Think Your Child Is Having Sex?

OK, I know I'm gonna touch on a very touchy subject anyways but, oh man I'm just still a little bit in shock about this article I was reading on MSNBC online. It was based on a study by a professor at North Carolina State University.

I am from a Christian background. I also had parents that strayed from going to church regularly, etc. I had a Mother that age appropriately, at least in the beginning, went over sexuality with me. I list this background because I'm just one of many, even God fearing people, who know that young people of all backgrounds and faiths are having sex!

As a basic overview, the study shows that many parents(mostly Mother's) believed their child to be "naive", "immature", and almost asexual. Their position on if their child became pregnant or if they found out they were sexually active was that of a victim. Meaning, their child was a victim of a predatory person and not a willing participant. Another subject in the article, speaks about the parent's opinions about other teenagers. They believed that many were sexually promiscuous and that they were ready and willing for almost anything. Really? I just wonder how a parent can lump so many other young people into a category and not think for a second that their child could be part of it?

I'm not stupid here folks, the last thing I EVER want to think about when considering my little girl is her having sex!! I repeat, that it's even a little gross to think about her maturing and being an adult. But, and here's the big but, my husband and I are responsible in teaching her our belief systems on her sexuality and about her body! I know that America is no longer puritanical. We can no longer say that we are sheltered like children were in the 1950's. We can't deny the fact that sex is smeared in our faces on a daily basis. We can't forget that it's in magazines, media of all types, on billboards, spoken about in schools, libraries, the streets. It's spoken about amongst Christian, Atheist's, Jews, etc alike.

The reason I'm bringing this subject up is because it's really gotta change! Why? I think the primary reason is for the safety of our children's physical well being, spiritual, and emotional well being. Statistics show that most kids are on the same paths as their parent's in many ways. If a parent was a teen parent, a drug addict, a smoker, a drinker, etc., odds are at least one child is going to follow in their footsteps. But what about the parents that don't fall into that category? Do you think they're exempt because they didn't show the same bad examples? Nope!

If we take an honest look at the reality of the situation, it's not the norm to abstain until marriage anymore. I don't care what faith you have. Our children, and that's exactly what they are, are not going to know how to handle these situations unless we prepare them. They're also not going to know how to deal with their spiritual struggles if we don't teach them. They're not going to know how to deal with the emotional connections that are formed with their partners, or on the other spectrum how to form a good, solid, loving relationship. They're not going to know what the scriptures say, and why they say them. And, they're almost never prepared to be told they have a STD or STI, or that they are pregnant.

I think I've covered the basics. I know in reality, we know what to do. I know we want to cherish our children as if they're going to be children forever but, we can't. Waiting until they've almost graduated is too late. We have to start instilling in them as young children what we want them to carry through their lives. I'm not trying to preach, I'm stating the facts. If you choose to live in ignorance, don't call it bliss!

*article MSNBC* *photo borrowed from fortroubledteens.com*


Kendra said...

Its horrible isn't it? I think the best thing we, as mothers, can do is be open with our kiddos and educate them before the school and/or their friends do. If they feel free to ask or talk about anything, that can help avoid a lot of the pitfalls teens can fall into when it comes to sex. I know its not the norm to be abstinate til marriage, but its still right. All we can do is instill that into our children and hope & pray they make wise choices.

Melanie said...

I know. I think the missing link is that many parents just assume that if they are Christian, go to church, etc that their children are going to understand the depth of what it means to enter or not enter a sexual relationship. This isn't just talking about religious people of course, it's parents as a whole.

Manon said...

Kind of interesting to me that in this day and age when we're all about making people feel good about themselves, we (as a society) don't do a very good job teaching our children to really love and respect who they are, and how God made them to be - special in His eyes. I think we as Christians sometimes do a lot of talking about how wrong something is or how dangerous it is, without telling the positive, extra special advantages of purity, and emphasizing the "specialness" of a chaste life before marriage. If we can present it as a relationship to look forward to sharing with that special someone God has chosen . . . really get excited about it as adults, it can help offset the negative aspects that will be thrown at our kids. (Not that we don't have to cover all that, too.) But sometimes we put a fear and scare into it that fails to make an attractive connection with them. And you can start the positive stuff just as early as you want, because there's such a wholesome, nurturing quality to it. Just some observances of an "old" person.

Melanie said...

I think you're really right on about it Manon! I think people are just so afraid of how to go about it that it doesn't get done at all and that's a shame!