Thursday, November 5, 2009

Diplomacy And The Art Of Keeping Your Mouth Shut!

I'm a newer Nie Nie reader and if you haven't heard of her and you're a blogger, well I'm shocked! I didn't follow Stephanie before her plane crash. I didn't know that her beautiful blog existed until a few months ago.

Anyway, she has come a very long way with God's help and it will take much more for her to get to a place where she is healed, at least physically. Stephanie and her husband Mr. Nielson, were both burned and hurt critically in the accident. I'm saying this because I feel the need to preface this.

She just posted on her blog an entry entitled Do You Still See Me? Not only does her journey of healing touch me but, her perspective is a testimony every time I read it. Perhaps it's because I've read many entries now, perhaps it's her charm, perhaps it's her strong belief system, or maybe because I didn't know her before in person but, I don't look at her as someone who has suffered disfiguring burns on her face and body.

Her husband still looks at her and sees her, the person, the soul that he fell in love with. Her God still sees her as the person that he loves, the soul that he put on this earth for a time. And, in turn I see her as a walking testimony to God's love instead of someone who no longer looks like she once did. She is beautiful because she is Stephanie.

I haven't intended to write just about Stephanie but, more so about the reason for her entry today.

This is a quote from Nie Nie's blog "Yesterday at the grocery store a woman turned around to me in the line and with an exhausted look she blurted out: “Oh, I feel just the way you look!!”". And my question first is how do you turn around and see someone who has physical scars and say something like that?? Knowing someone must have gone through something traumatic to get to that place, how do you say something like that? Nonchalantly even?! As if your mouth has no way to connect to your brain.

I know I've put my foot in my mouth many, many times! We all have. I just don't understand why today's society thinks it's perfectly acceptable to say whatever, whenever, and however is on their mind. Without the slightest notion that it may harm others.

Being a mother, being part of parenting forums, being a part of a blog community, and seeing it for myself on a daily basis has really opened my eyes. I'm opinionated, anyone that knows me knows that. I have bad days just like anyone else. But, I think before I say certain things and really question in my mind how it's going to affect the person I'm talking to. And when I don't, I feel terrible and try to make amends.

I guess what I'm trying to say is THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. Don't tell parent's that have lost their children anything but, "I'm sorry", "I love you", "what can I do for you". Don't tell them they can make another one, et al. Don't tell someone who looks that they've been in a horrible accident what you think they look like!!

I realize that moral standards have gone by the wayside and us as Christians can be some of the greatest culprits of judge mentality and hypocrisy. Remember the golden rule, people and that our tongues are weapons.


Brittany said...

You are absolutely right. Great post!

Rhea said...

It is really sad today the way people act. No manners, no conscious, no mind for peoples feelings. I agree with you 100 percent.

Haasiegirl said...

i would like to think that woman didnt mean a thing about scars...maybe she looked run down or tired.

but you know , people suck


The Jacobsen Family! said...

People say far too much these days about many things, but when it comes to the feelings of others, it's even worse...
Thanks for a great reminder.