Bah Humbug!

I chuckle to myself, thinking about how I've been for such a long time. Christmas used to mean heartache for me. I thought about the son of man and that made me feel better. My family was poor, my dad was gone, and Christmas was supposed to be about family!

I wasn't really happy with the thought of Christmas. It broke my mom's heart that she never had any money. It broke my heart that she was sad and so were my siblings. When I was single and living alone, I didn't decorate or waste my money on a tree. I enjoyed picking out gifts for family and friends but, I didn't really feel a need to decorate my little place. I even had a very sweet friend, who later was my roommate for awhile, give me a baby tree and a stocking because she couldn't bear it. Ah, the memories that flood back to me when I really try and recollect them.

I'm married now and have a daughter who was born the day after Christmas in 2006. They have brought a new meaning of Christmas, and life for that matter, to me. My husband works hard and is tired after long days. We don't get much alone time with a toddler and son who visits weekends. My daughter is into everything, as a two year old should be. We barely scrape by some months and yet, I'm am so richly blessed!

God reminds me daily that he has fulfilled his promise to me. That he was faithful to me and has seen me through all of my days here on earth. I worry sometimes but, mostly I know I am doing what I should be. I am raising my daughter. I am taking care of my husband. I try to be a good friend, etc.

I no longer feel like I'm going to die if I hear Christmas songs while in the store, haha. I feel like I can enjoy the spirit of the season with friends and family. I got "warm fuzzies" while putting up the tree with my kids and husband.

No longer do I feel like Scrooge and that's just fine with me!