Thursday, December 20, 2007

This is a jam!

I've been wanting to listen to this song today....it's such a jam!

Makes me want to DANCE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ETfNxDVlpQ&feature=related

Christmas is coming!!!

I'm getting excited to see my baby have a great time on her first Christmas...She missed Christmas last year by only one day. We had a great time with my side of the family get together. My Sis came into town and we exchanged gifts for the kids, my nephews Birthday(20th) and the adults little stocking stuffers. We had a ham dinner and visited with eachother. I love spending time with my family. Kaia did alright with opening her presents, she would get bored after a couple of tears of the paper and start to play with whatever was open. I expected that though. Her Birthday is December 26th and we are having a get together for that day too...it will be party time for a couple of days. We are going to go to Red Robin with whoever wants to show up and have some lunch, cake and presents. I didn't want to do anything too big since she is still little and will be overwhelmed probably. I want to get her some balloons. I got some little cake plates, napkins and plastic ware in purple...nothing themey. I am anxious for this to happen but, am not rushing anything....my little lamb is turning one!!!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Defiant Girl! Oh No

I was hoping that I would be able to wait until Kaia was a year old before we started having "toddler issues" but, no such luck. This girl has mommy and daddy written all over her. I knew because she was literally an angel of an infant that I was gonna get it! She is getting into everything because she is very strong and can walk now. I have to physically remove her from something and tell her "no" a million times a day. I know it needs to be done because I want her to learn but, aaaarrrgh. Kaia is stubborn and wants it her way. If I don't let her she "sasses" me by hollering and making a certain grunt. If it wasn't so cute, I'd get angry...haha

I love this age. They are such sponges and are constantly changing. They start talking, walking, being funny, etc. I love my little buttercup, she makes my day!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Insentient

She waits for me...rain or shine
Emotionless, and yet blue like my mood has turned.
I see her...body sleek, limitless curves
Like a lazy Summer day, she stills me
My thoughts run wild and she stays.
She bears the illegitimacy of my being.
Though I can't kiss her lips, she purrs at my touch.
No eyes to search, no soul to be found but, still...
I find solace with her....

Melanie Breyer 2002

I wrote this for my husband when we just started dating...ahhh, to be a man and love an inanimate(insentient) object such as a car...haha

wedding vows

When Brandon and I got married, we went to Sedona. We chose to get married quickly after deciding to get married. We had dated on and off for a long time and once Brandon actually wanted to get married and I was ready we didn't want to wait. We only met the "minister", I say that loosely, once before the wedding. We compiled a list of things we wanted done and read, and gave it to him....I wanted to frame some of it and found it in my email finally, in the sent box.

I gave this as a reading, it is only excerpts but, I like it.

Mari Nichols

Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person.
with all my heart, my soul, my mind my body...

Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,
who won't hold them against me,
who loves me when I'm unlikeable,
who see the small child in me, and
who looks for the divine potential of me...

Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night
with someone who thanks God for me,
with someone I fell blessed to hold...

Because marriage means opportunity
To grow in love, in friendship...

Because marriage is a discipline
to be added to a list of achievements.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Storms and thoughts of Christmas

I finally got a hold of my Mom today. She lives on the Oregon coast and was just "spanked" by the weather. It's a small town and most of the businesses were completely shut down. No back up generators or anything. Mom has a gas stove but, it takes electricity to run(weird, I know) They had a couple of days no power, no warmth or ability to cook food, no ability to get gasoline, etc. I couldn't reach her and was worried because she does have some medical issues and needs to be on medications as well as having access to heating pads, etc.

My Brother found out that they are having a boy and a girl after years of prayer and patience. He tried to tell her and couldn't get through to her either. Cell towers were immersed in water and land lines were down. She explained how hard the winds were and how everything was wrecked but, that she was scared to death because of the trees that were bending and falling...I'm glad they were safe!!

Got my Christmas cards and now have to finish filling them out. Shouldn't be too difficult. I'm excited for Christmas this year because it's Kaia's first. She missed her first Christmas by a day. She wanted to play with all the "pretties" at Grandma Val's house when we went over there over the weekend. I think for that reason alone, I'm gonna skip the tree this year. My apartment is so tiny, I really don't have a lot of extra money to go buy a gate and Kaia would be getting into the tree every second. It's just not worth the hassle and the there's no room! I will try to decorate the rest of the house so it's festive. I put some Christmas music on for Kaia and she liked some of it. I keep thinking about her in the future and almost picturing her and Christmas/her Birthday. I think she will love this time of year. She has plenty of people that love her. She will get to make memories with her familiy and friends at Christmas time and have her own traditions. She will get to celebrate another Birthday as well...it will definitely be "her" time of year. I always felt bad for kids that have Birthdays around Christmas and was bummed she was born so close to it. I think now though, that she has a chance to make her own. It will be fun to see her take on it as the years come.

That's what's up for today...

Sunday, December 2, 2007

War Torn

It's killing me
this poison in every cavity
each part filled to overflowing the slick dew smeared down my face
my blood, torn skin nerves exposed knuckles and knees ground
I've fought you and won
I've fought you and lost
when does this endurance end?
I know no peace in this being
this battles rages with you
with me
I cannot love such as you, Mr. Deception
I cannot hold you in my sight
my war with you ends with my last breath

Melanie Breyer 2005